Hurt that’s not from the hands

By now, a lot of you must have heard or read about the unfortunate story of the man who murdered his young beautiful wife in cold blood last week here in Lagos, Nigeria. It is just such a sad story. I will not delve into details about it here and this episode is not about domestic abuse and violence. However, it is about another kind of abuse that is barely talked about, it even seems to be brushed under the carpet sometimes since there is no physical sign of damage done. This abuse is emotional abuse – this is the kind of abuse where words can be used to hurt you in so many ways. And sometimes words may even do greater damage than a hit.I am just going to scratch the surface of this topic because it is indeed a very deep one. There might be a need to discuss this even further and in more detail along the line in future.

A lot of us have gone through periods in our lives where people said things to us which hurt us and probably went further to erode our self-esteem. Some of us have allowed these words cause great damage to us and some have risen above them. The fact of the matter, though, is that negative words can do a lot of damage to the recipient.

Some women have found themselves caught up in relationships where their men put them down in different ways and unconsciously, they find themselves taking on the persona of the negative names they are called. Sometimes, these men do these things unconsciously themselves but that is still no excuse though.  And then even when you want to speak out sometimes about this treatment, you’re told, “well, at least, he’s not beating you”. So then, does that mean you are supposed to bear this and live with it. I think not!

It is not just the woman-man relationship that emotional abuse comes into play. Emotional abuse can also be experienced in friendships, parent-child and sibling relationships.

I know that a lot of us can identify with this and are still carrying the scars of such abuse. It is even such a difficult thing to talk about but then if you do not talk about it, you will probably be carrying around a huge burden so ladies, let’s share our burdens. How many of us have experienced this or know people who have?

PS: In discussing such sensitive topics as this, it is okay to come in anonymously to talk about it.


2 thoughts on “Hurt that’s not from the hands”

  1. A wonderful read Sista! As i took in your words in print, I recalled instances I have been verbally & emotionally abused by relatives. I remember a time I was almost driven to suicide, but hey! I am still alive.

    To be honest, it is the emotional abuse that toughened me up and made me the woman i am today, determined to the ‘teeth’, if i can describe it that way. I guess this is the reason why people are advised to keep taking such abuse, as the popular saying “what won’t kill you, will only make you stronger”. BIG question here is, when it does kill you, how then do you get the opportunity to take another step knowing you aren’t going to be stronger.

    I like the way you write, pls keep it up Sista!!!

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