That thin line…

Can men and women really ever be just friends? Hmmmmm..

Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I’m saying is – and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form – is that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That’s not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don’t.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don’t.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I’m having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I’m saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not!
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So, you’re saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry: No. You pretty much want to nail ’em too.
Sally: What if THEY don’t want to have sex with YOU?
Harry: Doesn’t matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story..

The above dialogue is an excerpt from the classic movie ‘When Harry met Sally’ and this was the subject of a debate I had with a few of my friends a couple of years back. It still is an interesting topic that seems to raise some dust every time it is brought up with different perspectives here and there.

Yes, in the past I have had some male friends who, just when I thought, “Oh there, he does not see me as a woman, he sees me as one of his homies!”, would just reveal his true ‘manliness’ and begin to make moves on me. This would just horrify me because I did wonder if I would ever find the one true guy who would just see me as another human being and not just as a sensual feminine being. I wanted a guy that I could gist with, play with, share my hopes and fears and he would just get me but with absolutely no sexual feelings towards me. Was that asking for too much? Maybe I had read too many bestsellers, yeah?

Now I did find and have some great guy friends who I happened to be so comfortable with and believe it or not, they never as much as winked a lustful eye at me. And yes, we did go on to have great friendships and still do as a matter of fact.

From my perspective, I would say, yes, pure platonic friendship can exist between a man and a woman. It all has to do with the mind, their minds. As long as no ‘funny’ images are being conjured up in their minds, the purity can exist but once those naughty thoughts begin to creep in, that thin line has been crossed and from then on, it is the point of no return. No matter how either of them tries to blot the thoughts out, they will just keep coming.

Now you tell me, whose side are you on? Harry’s or Sally’s? Do you think a man and a woman can just be friends?



3 thoughts on “That thin line…”

  1. Seriously maybe, but for me I doubt cause they all proclaimed there love 4 me and that was the end of that platonic relationship, one could only be lucky to find that. Though now I have a guy as my best friend he happens to be my husband. 😉

  2. Mmm! So many were friends before they became lovers, then Husband and wife! Anything is possible in life. I remember my Father would always say “you cannot put a goat and yam in the same room”. I guess that would not apply to a Gay male friend right?

    In all we do let us try and represent the grace of GOD. Love should not be conditional neither should it be judged.

    Good job and keep up the good work.

  3. I am on Sally’s side because I have a couple of friends (hmmm I think I will change this to acquaintance because the relationship is very defined with boundaries and not intimate at all) who are male.

    Okay I just changed my mind.

    I am on Harry’s side. Men and women cannot be friends, they can only be acquainted (an impersonal shallow relationship) because my definition of friendship is a very intimate bond between two people which is next to the marital relationship so the Harry’s have it!

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